Freaking out about seizures, Baclofen, and surgeries.

I try to live my life one day at a time and enjoy each moment not to drive myself crazy. Some days I fail at that. I have too much information right at my fingertips which can be good and bad. The neurologist has already mentioned baclofen in Sophie's future. Maybe through a pump. I have seen what this looks like and I am really scared... From what I gather most cases of spastic diplegia require surgery, add that to my worries. The Orlando Doc said that since Sophie had not experienced any seizures to date that the chance for any major seizures is low, hmmm... don't know if I should feel so great about that. All I can say is that I am really scared. I have been through a lot and I am still standing, I am an ironwoman because my kids and my husband need me. Now... how much can this iron woman take before braaking down? I don't know. Every now and then I let myself cry hard about things to make sure that I am not building up negative feelings inside and can continue to do what I need to do for my family. Last night I watched the video about Ben and I cried for about 20 minutes. The story was moving and it kicked in that is OUR reality for the rest of our lives. We are different and things will be different for us and for Sophie and that is Grand, I am not complaining, I love my life the way it is, the only thing I would add would be my daughter Grace. Our lives are filled with corkiness, I love you's (not the kind you just say, the REAL I love yous) lots of surprises, subject to change, different, hugs, family, urgency, caring individuals, strenght, outings, and the occasional naps. My family is what it is because our experiences have made us this way. We are knit together, there for eachother, always. And we are not afraid to be corky. Of course there is the more than occasional fight butwe know that we must forgive, forget, and move on because we only have eachother. My family is my life support, without them, I cannot be the Iron woman.