A little background. What was I thinking?

My daughter always scissored her legs, since she was discharged from the NICU. I never thought anything of it and no one ever mentioned to me of the possibility that this may not be normal for a baby. Looking back, I feel like I was in shock for the entire first year of her life after having lost her twin sister to Digeorge syndrome when she was just five days old. I will talk about that story on a separate post.

I asked her ped several times what to look for as for milestones and she always said not to worry because premmies don't catch up with their milestones until they are two years old. I remember seeing all the babies that were born after her reaching their milestones and feeling a sense of jealousy mixed with confusion.  At one point, a baby was born in my circle of friend and I remember thinking to myself I bet that baby will sit before my baby. A little after she turned one, I began to ask myself: How is she going to catch up overnight? If she has not reached her 6 month old milestones, I don't think this will happen so quick that she will be sitting and walking by age 2. I began researching online and continued to run into the words cerebral palsy. As I continued to read and go down the list of signs, I realized that it might be a possibility that my baby would have cerebral palsy. I brought this up to her physical theparist and Ped, who both said maybe. I felt betrayed because no one had mentioned this to me and still they were not telling me what I should do. I asked them both, so if she does have CP what do I need to do? They both said that we would need to continue therapy and she would eventually walk. The PT recommended that I take her to a Physio and so we did... I was not interested in taking her to a neurologist as I felt that whether or not she had CP, the course of action would be the same so why stress myself right? Well as I learned more and more about CP I changed my mind and went to the neurologist. She told me right on our first visit that Sophie had Cerebral Palsy. She said that my daughter must have received an injury to her brain either during birth or maybe before or after.  There is no way to know and there is no cure for cerebral Palsy.  She ordered an MRI which, according to her would tell us the extent of the injury.

We took Sophie for the MRI early January 2013. I scheduled the appointment to get results 2 days later...

According to the neurologists the MRI confirmed her diagnosis of cerebral palsy. My heart almost stopped for a moment. The doctor left the room really fast. I had no idea what to do next.