Awereness becomes me!

I wrote this a few days after receiving the diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy for Sophie and after talking to the advocacy group at my local UCP.

Everything happens for a reason?

When bad things happen, your life doesn't go as planned or something that you thought possible becomes impossible, it is hard to understand why it happened to YOU. You hear people say it all the time: Everything happens for a reason! Yet, you can't find a good enough reason to explain why this is happening to you.

Today, I feel like I am entering a world that I never knew existed. I mean, I knew that there were kids with Autism, kids with disabilities, kids with behavioral challenges, yet I always looked, saw, heard through awareness programs and kept on going. I went on with my life... I didn't feel like I was ignoring it, I just thought "Oh, ok, I am aware that they exist" but I didn't open my life to their world. To the world that is "different" to the world of people with disabilities. In fact, before having the excuse of having a kid in a stroller I often used the "big" bathroom (the one with the sidebars, lower sink, and lower toilet you know the one meant to be used by people in wheelchairs) because it was just more comfortable for "me". I never stopped to think what if while I was in there someone in a wheelchair really needed to use "that" stall. In fact even worse, I though about it but quickly ignored it because it was gonna be just right quick. Now I think what if that person was my daughter who really had to go and can't hold it any longer?
Yes, awareness is being thrown right at my face nowdays. Furthermore, after two days of long hours of coversations with moms who have kids with Autism I am finally becoming Aware! I was brave enough to ask questions and learn more so that I can do more. The ads on tv, the highway billboards, the bumper stickers didn't do it for me.... It was my own child's condition (which is not even Autism) that made me "aware".

I know that it is far too early to say that I learned everything that this situation was meant to teach me. It is far too early to say that I am fully aware of everything there is to know to care enough, and be concious, helpful, and understanding about all people with any type of disability... I am even scared to used the words disabled or disability when talking about my own child, but now I sort of understand where this is going... I am starting to see (from my standpoint) why this is happening to "me". Because it has opened a door to a world that I had ignored all my life, a door to a path that will make me a better person.