Eight tips to raise an extraordinary child. Labels out the window!

I began teaching my daughter to read when she was eighteen months old. The fact that she could not hold herself in a sitting position, she could not stand, and that her head dropped from side to side often (poor head control) did not stop me from feeling that she was a smart little girl. I treated her as the smart toddler I knew her to be.  I had already taught my oldest (typically developing) to read at two years old by using my own special reading program (easy and totally free). I knew that my little girl had all the potential within herself too because I have always believed that every child has the potential to achieve anything, given the right tools.  I taught her the letters and simple words, every day, five to ten minutes a day. I did not see results immediately, but I never stopped trying because I knew that she was always observing, and learning. And so, between doctor appointments, therapies, surgeries, and caring for my other two children, I took moments to teach her as much as possible. By the time she was three, she was reading full words. Although she just turned five two months ago and still cannot walk, my little girl who many see as disabled is more abled that any other five-year-old I know. She can read at second grade level and speaks many phrases, numbers and songs in Spanish, Russian, French, and Mandarin. She is fluent in her native language (English) and Spanish. She wants to be an astronomer and a dentist when she grows up. It is my job to make this a reality for her! I am very excited to share with you how you can help your child become extraordinary and even gifted, just like I did with my daughter. What would happen if you stop seeing your child as broken and start seeing your child as EXTRAORDINARY? What if you stop asking WHY your child is disabled and why this happening to you? Imagine just for a moment that you stop comparing your “disabled” child to other children? Years ago, these tasks seemed flat out impossible to me. Today, my daughter and our family, live a true magical story of triumph and bravery. And the future is yet to come. What if there was something you could do to help improve the quality of life for your child? How do you help your disabled child become extraordinary? You already go to countless therapy and doctor's appointments. Is there anything more you can do?What if you STOP asking why and figure out how to unlock the blessing that you have in your hands and prove to the universe that “disabled” is nothing more than a label? what if you realize that she CAN and WILL make a mark in the world, in her life, in the lives of others?

How do you begin to embrace the blessing that you have in your hands and find possibilities that are unimaginable to the parent of a “typical child”? For one minute, think about this: Your "disabled child is extraordinary! Say it out loud repeatedly until you truly believe it in your heart.  As the parent of this child, you are the most important person in her world so if you don't believe in her, she will not believe in herself, and no one else will believe in her or her unlocked potential.
During our latest dolphin therapy trip, we met a family from Iceland. They had traveled all the way from Iceland to Key Largo, Florida to experience the magic of Dolphin Therapy. The entire trip had been planned by their twenty-one-year-old son. He was diagnosed with quadriplegia. He is unable to speak and uses a communication device. I was talking to the mother, as much as I could communicate to her in English. I was excited to learn that her son has surpassed all educational obstacles that could be associated with being disabled. This summer, he will graduate college and receive a bachelor's degree from his local university, with honors! It was a refreshing story. Here was this boy, fully confined to a wheelchair and he was about to achieve something that many typically developing kids are not able to accomplish, graduating from college with a remarkable grade point average.
Do you think that your child can accomplish this someday too?

What can you do, daily to help you live this extraordinary, joyful life with your child that is “disabled”, has “special needs”, etc. (per society).

Remember how your world was turned upside down when you learned of your child’s diagnosis? Did you cry, or scream, or asked why do these things happen to me? Did you grieve normality? Grieving is normal and even necessary as you are an emotional being. However, that time has passed and now you have in your hands a wonderful opportunity to help your child become not just a normal person but an extraordinary one. Here are some tips to help you see the extraordinary in your “special needs” or “disabled” child.

1.       Change your vocabulary.  In this amazing journey, we get used to the labels, even worse, we use those labels ourselves. The school calls our kids disabled, special kids, kids with special needs, different kids, etc. All those labels change not only our perception of our child as different but also their own perception of who they are, and what they can do and achieve in the future; that is, what contributions they can make to their own lives, to live happy and contribute to society and become the productive human beings that most people all dream of becoming.  2.       Stop comparing your child to others. My daughter told me “mommy, I am sad”, my immediate reaction, as you might expect was asking her what was making her so sad. She told that she was sad because she could not walk. At her response, I did not feel heartbroken or incomplete. In fact, her response triggered thoughts of all the things that she was great at, all those traits that make her so extra ordinary. I wanted her to feel that her lack of walking did not make her imperfect. I wanted her to know that she is perfect in every single way, so I began listing for her all the things that make her great like her kind heart, her love for pink unicorns, what a great friend, daughter, and sister she is.3.       Focus on the ABILITIES and mitigate the disabilities. Yes, I know that we go to the doctor often, go to therapies, and know more medical terms than any of the other parents of so called “typical” kids. But doesn’t that also make US extra ordinary? There are so many things that our kids can do. Maybe they are not good at gymnastics, or anything requiring strength in the upper torso but there are so many other talents that we can foster and develop in our kids. Research about things that they can do. Just like athletes require years of training, don’t forget to go step by step, and never give up on the new discipline. Whether it is art, painting, music, writing, science experiments, pick one discipline that your child shows the slightest interest in and stick with it. It will take time and practice but just like an athlete needs proper training, your child needs and DESERVES proper guidance and training in whatever new talent you wish for him to develop. Come up with a simple plan or small routine.4.       Call them by their name (not my child with special needs) in public in front of teachers, doctors, other kids and not by the code “special needs” or “special child” all children are special and children do not want to be labeled. Your child is no exception. Often, other kids ask my daughter why she is sitting on that “thing” (her wheelchair). I always answer for her and/or ask her to answer the following: "Because I cannot walk so this wheelchair helps me to get around so I can play and do lots of fun things".5.       Treat them like you would any other child.  If they do something that they shouldn't be doing, point it out to them.  Teach them what you would teach any other child. Believe that the are no limits. Have you even heard of the famous Helen Keller? As a young girl, she lost her sight and hearing but still managed to learn to read and make many meaningful contributions to literature. Her books became best sellers and she became famous. It all came true because she had the support of her family and a life time coach that never gave up.

6.       Even if your child cannot talk, believe that they can learn to read, count, any comprehend any subject because they can! Remember that a lot of abled bodies do not explore and use their brain potential. If you have a child that has any brain damage but you work with them to reach their full potential, they will grow and achieve the unimaginable.

7.       Take small steps.  Set small goals, after all, you must climb one step at a time to get to the top of the staircase. You must learn letter before you learn to read. Make sure that enough time is allotted for each activity. Never underestimate their ability. Always reward with love and affection. Always speak kind words and tell them how much you believe in them, love them and most importantly that they are PERFECT in every single way.

8.      Read books, even if it is for just 10 minutes a day. Read about neuroplasticity, read about teaching, increase your knowledge as you become empowered to better help your child. Reading online doesn’t count as a lot of information online has been altered or offers misinformation. It is easy to write online but it is harder to become a published author and even more difficult to write a good book. So find a good book and read as much as you can about the potential of the human brain. TED talks also provide very useful information. Focus on finding positive information that can help your child improve. Stop reading negative information that draws out into a negative state of grief. Only you can help your child overcome any obstacle and rise above the labels.In an age where everything seems to have been discovered, the potential of the human brain continues to amaze scientists. Its exponential growth begins at conception and continues throughout childhood, growing very rapidly in the toddler years. During the first years of life, the little human brain can attain amplified intelligence but only if it is exposed to an academic and environmental atmosphere that will foster and stimulate new neuron connections resulting in increased gray matter. As new networks of neuron connections are built, the brain becomes more agile, or capable of working at a higher, better capacity. And this is how our big question begins: nature vs nurture. In my humble opinion, based on my experience with my kids, I say nurture can override nature.If a child who does not have any brain damage does not receive the nutrients and stimulation necessary, they will not be able to develop to the best of their potential. What if you provide the stimulation, nutrition, and education necessary to your child, who has been diagnosed with brain damage? What if you nurture their need for good nutrition, love, and learning, the potential for success would be far greater! The results would be like nothing you ever dreamed of, even before your extraordinary child was born!

Resources which I am in no way affiliated with:Website:https://iahp.org/